This week, so much of what I’ve been reflecting on comes back to one thing: emotional intelligence.
We often talk about emotional intelligence like it’s a personality trait, but in truth, it’s a skill—something we learn, practice, and grow into. It’s not just about managing conflict or getting along with people. It’s about knowing yourself well enough to not let every emotion lead you. It’s the difference between reacting and responding, between spiraling and choosing peace.
There are levels to this.
At the first level, we recognize our emotions only after they’ve erupted—anger, disappointment, fear. We see the wreckage and then ask, “Why did I do that?”
At the next level, we notice the emotions as they rise. We might not stop them yet, but we begin to feel the shift: the tightening of the jaw, the lump in the throat, the pressure behind the eyes. Awareness grows.
Then there’s a higher level—emotional regulation. This is when we begin to pause. We name the feeling, but we don’t let it name us. We respond instead of react. We lead ourselves before trying to lead others. That’s growth.
But the highest level?
Transcendence. The place where your emotions no longer surprise you. You meet them with grace. They pass through you, not overtake you. You are aware, but not ruled.
Getting there isn’t easy. It takes honesty. Reflection. Sometimes a journal. Sometimes prayer. Sometimes a therapist. But always, it takes intention.
So today, ask yourself:
Are my emotions leading me, or am I leading through my emotions?
Because the truth is—when emotions lead, wisdom waits.
But when wisdom leads, transformation follows.
Keep moving.
Today is about becoming the version of yourself your children can count on— your habits are clear, your mind is steady, and your body is ready for the responsibility.
Being the best version of yourself doesn’t start with getting a paycheck. It starts with what you feed your mind, your spirit, and your body—before you even clock in.
Here are 7 simple ways to show up as the best version of yourself—for you and your family:
1. Start your day with a clear mind.
Whether it’s a few minutes of prayer, deep breathing, or sitting still with your thoughts—give yourself space to wake up on purpose, not just by alarm.
Whether it’s a few minutes of prayer, deep breathing, or sitting still with your thoughts—give yourself space to wake up on purpose, not just by alarm.
2. Hydrate before you caffeinate.
Water fuels your brain, your energy, and your clarity. Start with one glass before reaching for the coffee or energy drink. You’ll feel the difference in your focus and mood.
Water fuels your brain, your energy, and your clarity. Start with one glass before reaching for the coffee or energy drink. You’ll feel the difference in your focus and mood.
3. Choose habits that sharpen, not dull, your mind.
What you put in your body—whether it’s food, substances, or scrolling—affects how present and prepared you are. Clarity gives you an edge. Every opportunity requires a clear mind to see it and seize it.
What you put in your body—whether it’s food, substances, or scrolling—affects how present and prepared you are. Clarity gives you an edge. Every opportunity requires a clear mind to see it and seize it.
4. Say something kind to yourself each morning.
Affirmations aren't corny—they’re necessary. “I am capable.” “I am growing.” “I am not my past.” Your voice is often the first one you’ll hear today—make it one that builds you.
Affirmations aren't corny—they’re necessary. “I am capable.” “I am growing.” “I am not my past.” Your voice is often the first one you’ll hear today—make it one that builds you.
5. Get dressed like you’re expecting favor.
You don’t need expensive clothes to walk with pride. Clean, neat, and intentional—how you show up sends a message to your future: “I’m ready.”
You don’t need expensive clothes to walk with pride. Clean, neat, and intentional—how you show up sends a message to your future: “I’m ready.”
6. Surround yourself with truth-tellers, not just cheerleaders.
Be around people who love you enough to tell you the truth and who hold you accountable to the vision you say you want. Growth thrives in honest community.
Be around people who love you enough to tell you the truth and who hold you accountable to the vision you say you want. Growth thrives in honest community.
7. Reflect at night—don’t just crash.
Before you go to bed, take five minutes. Ask yourself: What worked today? What didn’t? What am I proud of? What can I shift tomorrow? These small check-ins make a big difference over time.
Before you go to bed, take five minutes. Ask yourself: What worked today? What didn’t? What am I proud of? What can I shift tomorrow? These small check-ins make a big difference over time.
You don’t have to try all 7 today.
Just pick one and practice it. Watch how it changes your mood, your mindset, and maybe even your whole day.
Then come back and let me know. I’d love to hear how you’re showing up for yourself—and for those who are counting on you.
Yesterday morning, after dropping my son off at early morning band practice, while driving on the way back home, I chose to start the day intentionally. Everything before that moment had been part of our normal rhythm—oatmeal and sausage for breakfast, lunch packed, the kitchen reset, and my youngest given her chores for the day
Driving alone in those early morning hours is one of the spaces I use to set intention for the day. I do it with prayer, or gratitude, as some like to call it. My heart is fullest in those early morning hours, because from the moment I open my eyes, I'm truly grateful and excited for the opportunities that await me on that day. Every day is full of opportunities to shape our day as we see fit. Whether we engage the day by planting the seeds for tomorrow, or we are enjoying the fruits of what we did yesterday, the day is ours to own.
Carpe Diem! Seize the day, SistahGirl!
A Vision for the Household
I carry a vision for my family—one rooted in wholeness, new experiences, joy, and freedom. As the head of my household, I understand that vision must be realized through me. That doesn’t burden me—it excites me.
When I picture where we’re headed—the vacations, the laughter, the late-night talks and shared goals, I get excited for the newness of it all. SistahGirl, if you don't have a vision for your family, get one! It will ground you. It will give you something to build toward on even the most challenging days.
Prayer, Alignment, and a Willing Heart
So, back to my moment of prayer, driving alone in the car. I'm not going to share the entire prayer, just a single line.
Lord, I open my heart up and align myself with you this morning to receive all that I need and all that I want. You've set the universe in motion, and you've said not our will but your will. And your will is that we be in good health and prosper. I desire good health, and I desire to prosper.
SistahGirl, we always say "God has already done the work"—and He has. But here's the part we sometimes overlook: the work of God was the creation of opportunity. Every new day is an invitation to engage with that divine opportunity—to lean into the rhythms that create health, well-being, peace, and purpose. The world is in motion. Doors have been opened. Opportunities are present.
A Word of Caution
You can't chant your way into change if your heart isn't in it. You can't manifest what you're not willing to move toward. And you certainly can't expect transformation if you're disconnected from the One who transforms.
Your health, your wholeness, your success—whatever that looks like for you and your family—isn't going to fall into your lap because you spoke or affirmed your desires daily at a certain time. No, visions and dreams and goals are nurtured through daily decisions, daily obedience, and daily showing up.
The Invitation Is Already Open
God has already done the work. He has created the opportunity. The provision, the wisdom, the healing, the open doors—they already exist. He’s not waiting to act. He’s waiting for you to show up. He’s waiting to walk with you as you build. To stand with you in your effort. To celebrate the vision as it comes alive through your hands. He’s not watching from a distance. He wants to be in the midst of your movement and in your momentum.
Alignment is not striving. It’s not about doing more to prove yourself. It’s about positioning your life to receive what’s already been promised. It’s about showing up every day—spiritually, emotionally, physically—and partnering with Heaven in real time.
Intentional alignment births change, not empty repetition.
So SistahGirl,
Do you have a vision for your family? Are your daily rhythms aligned with that vision, or are you stuck in repetition without direction? I’d love to hear how you’re showing up with intention this week. Leave a comment or share this post with a sister who needs to be reminded.
This past month, I decided to release all obligations (the PhD, ODTV, and the creation of the new podcast Torch and Table) each weekend and embark on mini-unplanned-impromptu adventures with my family.
I needed to let things be, to release the grip of control and allow life to unfold without my constant management.
It was in this very sacred-very personal-very intentional pause that something unexpected happened.
I got a message:
"Congratulations on reaching 2,500 downloads."
What? How could this be?
I stared at the screen, unbelievably, and laughed out loud - a mixture of shock and joy bubbling from my depths. I assumed there must be some technical error or glitch in the Buzzsprout system. Perhaps the analytics were malfunctioning? But no. I carefully checked the detailed analytics dashboard, and there was the undeniable proof staring back at me. Hundreds of new downloads had accumulated in the span of just one month, all occurring during my complete absence from content creation, without me even releasing a single new episode!
It seemed utterly impossible, defying every conventional wisdom about content creation and audience growth.
And then, an illumination, like a time-lapsed blooming of a purple passion flower, expanded in my soul with breathtaking clarity and emotion.
That message arrived not because I pushed harder, hustled more, or sacrificed my well-being at the altar of productivity. It came precisely because I finally and unwittingly surrendered to the WIDSOM - that sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is nothing at all.
Letting Things Be Doesn't Mean Giving Up
Constant Listener, your purpose doesn't expire when you need to pause - it expands. Purpose deepens in the stillness, taking root in the very soil we fear will wash away if we don't constantly till it. The irony is that our constant motion often prevents the very growth we're seeking.
The wisdom you need to heal, to thrive, to be whole is there. It’s buried beneath the noise of expectation, of comparison, and of the relentless inner critic that masquerades as ambition.
We only need to quiet ourselves enough to hear what our souls have been trying to tell us.
When You Let Things Be, You Discover What You’re Done With
During my silence, I got real loud about what I was done with.
- I'm done with settling for less - financially and spiritually. No more accepting crumbs when I've been created for a feast. No more limiting the imagination of my dreams.
- I'm done giving energy to things that don't move my personal needle. The projects that drain without filling. The relationships that take without giving. The obligations that steal my time without feeding my purpose. The conversations that circle endlessly without leading anywhere meaningful.
- I'm done mistaking output for value. The constant doing, producing, and achieving, floundering over metrics (most of which I do confess, I do not understand) that measure everything except what truly matters. And I'm done with the hustle that almost became my identity instead of a tool to serve my calling.
In my surrender, these realizations liberated me from chains that I didn't even know I was carrying.
When You Let Things Be, You Draw Closer to Yourself
1. I'm Alive ( I always celebrate this)
There was a time I didn't want to be. That's hard to write. Harder to say. But truer than anything I've known. And I'm still here. Not just existing, but truly living. Breathing with purpose. Moving with intention. Feeling everything - the pain, the joy, the uncertainty - and understanding that my ability to feel it all is the greatest gift I could have received. I've come to cherish this aliveness, this raw and beautiful experience of being fully present in my own life. This moment is mine, and my life continues to unfold with possibilities I couldn't see when darkness clouded my vision.
2. I'm Dreaming Bigger.
Not just dreaming safe. Dreaming bigger. Dreaming without the boundaries I once placed around my own potential. Dreaming with the audacity that comes from surviving what I thought would break me.
Seven years ago, I just wanted to retire from the classroom and impact my students. I placed careful limits around what I believed was possible, what I deserved, and what I could achieve without risking too much disappointment.
Now? I've got listeners in the Philippines, France, Canada, and the UAE. People I've never met, who wake up in time zones I've never visited, are listening to my words, finding resonance in my story, seeing themselves in my journey.
Me? From my living room? Absolutely, my voice is no longer contained within the confines of the classroom; it now reaches across oceans in real time. The message of confidence no longer echoes solely within the souls of my former students, and that Constant Listener is a destiny unfolding in ways I couldn't have orchestrated if I tried.
3. I Found More of Me.
I've grown. I've expanded. I'm full. Not with achievements or accolades, though they've come. Not with validation or approval, though I've received them. I'm full with something far more precious - a profound sense of wholeness that doesn't depend on external circumstances.
With heart. With the kind of strength you don't measure in pounds lifted, but in silence endured and hope held. With the quiet certainty that comes from walking through fire and emerging not just intact, but illuminated. With the wisdom earned through surrender, through letting go, through trusting the process even when it made no logical sense. I've discovered parts of myself I never knew existed - depths of resilience, wells of compassion, reservoirs of creativity that only revealed themselves when I stopped forcing and started flowing.
Let Things Be, Then Hold Yourself Close.
We chase too much. We prove too much. We exhaust ourselves trying to be - too much.
Letting things be isn't laziness or giving up. It's not walking away from your dreams. It's alignment at its purest—stepping into the ocean current of your own truth and allowing it to carry you where you're meant to go.
When you finally align with that inner knowing, the gains will overflow:
- In your peace.
- In your posture.
- In your purpose.
- In your relationships.
- In your creativity.
Be still so you can hear the truth and be present so you can expand beyond the boundaries fear has placed around your potential.
Let things be, Constant Listener. And watch what blooms in the garden of your surrender.
There comes a point in every journey when forward movement requires more; it demands a shift. A pivot. And for me, that pivotal moment is now.
For years, One Degree to Victory (ODTV) has been a safe orbit. A space where I've processed pain, witnessed transformation, and held the hands of women climbing out of the rubble. It gave me purpose, clarity, and community. The countless stories shared, tears shed, and breakthroughs celebrated created a foundation that I will forever cherish.
Recently, I've come to realize I want to rise meteorically. And if I or you want to rise, meteorically, we must let go.
We can't ascend while clinging to everything familiar.
We can't reach new altitudes comfortable in our echo chambers.We can't birth something revolutionary without laying something to rest.
So we need to pivot. To shift. Into a deeper purpose that calls others forward.
So we need to pivot. To shift. Into a deeper purpose that calls others forward.
To step through another layer of healing, the kind that burns, clarifies, and frees.
To join others at the table where victory gathers, multiplies, and feeds.
Introducing Torch and Table
More than a rebrand. It's a repositioning.
ODTV was a movement. Torch and Table is a mission.
Here, we talk about leadership, legacy, and liberation – the three pillars that form the foundation of sustainable change. We talk about post-traumatic growth, moving beyond merely personal healing and expanding into the realm of organizational transformation. We explore how individuals can translate their healing journeys into systemic change. About how we collectively build robust and compassionate systems that not only hold space for healing but actively facilitate it. We examine the intersection between personal resilience and institutional reform, recognizing that true liberation requires both internal work and external restructuring.
I'm no longer orbiting the same safe space. I've broken the gravitational pull of what's comfortable—and it’s uncomfortable, yes—but it's also liberating.
This evolution didn't happen overnight. It came through countless conversations with mentors, sleepless nights questioning my path, and bold experiments that sometimes failed spectacularly. But each step, each lesson, each redirection has led me here—to a clarity I couldn't have manufactured through planning alone.
The torch represents illumination. It symbolizes the passing of wisdom from one generation to the next,
embodying the warmth of community that keeps us going when the journey feels too difficult to navigate alone, and ensuring that hard-earned lessons aren't lost to time.
The table represents the gathering, a space where every voice matters and every story has weight. It symbolizes nourishment of bodies, of minds, and spirits hungry for growth. And it embodies the collaborative nature of true transformation, where we recognize that no one succeeds alone.
So come, sit with me.
This is your seat.
This is your invitation.
This is your moment to rise.
In the weeks ahead, you'll notice changes—new content formats, expanded topics, and opportunities to engage more deeply.
I'm investing in creating resources that serve not just individual healing but collective advancement...
Because while personal transformation matters deeply, it's only the beginning.
Every degree toward victory has led me here.
Now, we light fires of purpose—and we gather.
