In a world that often centers on partnership as the ultimate goal, navigating singleness—especially as a woman of color—can feel like an uphill battle. But what if being single wasn’t a waiting room? What if it was a season of power, self-discovery, and radical intention?
Fannie, a clinical social worker with over 15 years of experience and founder of Her Soul Supply, shifts the narrative. She reminds us that singleness isn’t about lack—it’s about empowerment. It’s about reclaiming power in ways that strengthen, restore, and position us for wholeness.
Here’s how you can embrace your singleness with intention and power:
1. Own Your Time, Mind, and Body
One of the greatest myths about power is that it must be taken by force. But true power isn’t about control—it’s about ownership.
"You are the one that has power over your time, over your body, over your mind." – Fannie
Too often, we give our power away by saying “yes” when we should say “no.” By overextending ourselves. By feeling obligated to show up for everyone but ourselves. But when we reclaim our time, protect our peace, and honor our bodies, we step into a new level of self-respect and freedom.
💡 Action Step: Identify one boundary you need to reinforce this week. Whether it’s saying no to extra work, declining an invite, or shutting down negative self-talk—honor your capacity.
2. Break the People-Pleasing Cycle
If you’ve ever found yourself exhausted from constantly being the “strong one,” you’re not alone. People-pleasing is one of the biggest threats to self-empowerment, especially for single women who often feel responsible for fixing everyone else’s problems.
The more we prioritize others over ourselves, the more we deplete our energy and silence our own needs. Over time, this leads to resentment, burnout, and the aching question: “Who’s here for me?”
💡 Action Step: The next time you feel obligated to say yes, pause. Ask yourself, “Is this serving me?” If the answer is no, give yourself permission to say no—without guilt.
3. Fill the Void, Don’t Fear It
Healing from toxic relationships leaves a void—one that can feel overwhelming, lonely, and even tempting to fill with more dysfunction. Fannie calls this the “loneliness epidemic.”
But instead of fearing the void, what if we saw it as space for something new? Instead of rushing to fill the emptiness with distractions, we could choose intention.
Her advice? “Be a joiner.” Find activities that fuel you. Put yourself in spaces where you can meet like-minded people. Stretch your comfort zone and embrace curiosity.
💡 Action Step: This week, seek out one community or activity that aligns with your interests. A book club, a hiking group, a dance class—whatever sparks joy.
4. Express Yourself, Not Your Expectations
Self-presentation isn’t about respectability politics—it’s about authenticity. How we show up in the world matters, but not because we’re seeking validation. It matters because energy speaks before words do.
“People respond to energy.” – Nelieta
When you dress, move, and carry yourself in alignment with who you truly are, you attract the right people, opportunities, and experiences.
💡 Action Step: Take inventory of your wardrobe. Do your clothes reflect your confidence, power, and season of life? If not, start small—add one piece that makes you feel fully you.
5. Choose Experiences That Expand You
Her Soul Supply isn’t just about healing—it’s about immersive growth. Through international retreats, women of color connect, learn, and thrive—not in isolation, but through meaningful experiences that honor culture, community, and ethical travel.
Singleness isn’t about waiting. It’s about becoming. It’s about stepping boldly into spaces that challenge, stretch, and expand you. It’s about living now, not later.
💡 Action Step: Start planning an intentional experience for yourself. Whether it’s a retreat, a solo trip, or simply exploring a new space in your own city—make room for expansion.
From Waiting Room to Garden: The Power of Radical Intention
Your singleness is not a holding pattern. It is a garden—rich with opportunities for growth, healing, and transformation. By reclaiming your power through:
✅ Boundaries
✅ Community-building
✅ Authentic self-expression
✅ Intentional experiences
✅ Community-building
✅ Authentic self-expression
✅ Intentional experiences
…you shift from surviving singleness to thriving in it.
It’s time to step into your power. Not tomorrow. Not when the relationship comes. Now.
🔥 Which of these steps resonates with you the most? Head over to the community and comment now!
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